Episode three of the Not Sorry podcast, titled “Our Parents Broke Us,” aired on 31 May. In this emotional and honest discussion, the hosts opened up about their family dynamics.
The podcast is hosted by four talented and beautiful young ladies, namely Seemah Mangolwane, Nomthandazo Nkosi, Rei Nkuna, and Munaka Muthambi.
THE GIRLIES OPEN UP ABOUT THEIR MOTHERS
The hosts spoke about experiences with their parents, especially their mothers. They recounted memories of feeling unheard, beaten with a hosepipe, called offensive names such as “straatmate”, and feeling neglected after a mother remarried.
Viewers marked this episode as the most relatable and profound thus far, and they appreciated how vulnerable and open the hosts were.
1. SEEMAH: ‘I WISH MY MOM LISTENED TO ME MORE’
Seemah, who previously hosted Spreading Humours, admitted her struggle with self-expression as her mother didn’t always encourage her to speak up.
She also noticed a concerning pattern between her mother and grandmother, where they usually spoke unkindly to one another, and this cycle is now trickling down into her own relationship with her mother. However, she is determined to break this cycle.
“I wish my mom listened to me more. I also feel like she has an impact on me, not being able to articulate myself,” she began.
“My mom didn’t allow me to speak. When I go to my granny’s place, I see how they speak to each other there,” she added.
“And I understand why you are (her mother) like this. But now you’re making me that person. And I don’t want to be that person,” she said.
2. NOMTHANDAZO: ‘THERE’S A LEVEL OF CONTROL’
The outspoken Nomthandazo revealed that her mother, now in her forties, wants to live vicariously through her, since she had her at a very young age.
“There is a level of wanting to live through your kids. There is a level of control that she doesn’t want to let go of,” she said.
“This is where I am now, and parents are not comfortable with you not apologising because they want you to apologise that they’re hurt, and as if you’re not going to do it again,” she added.
3. REI: ‘MY PARENTS DON’T CELEBRATE ME AT ALL’
Rei extensively spoke about the relationship dynamics with her mother, stating how her mother is hardly satisfied with her efforts and even called her a straatmate at some point.
“My parents don’t celebrate me at all. They don’t say things like I’m proud of you, you did good,” she began.
“It took me so many years to love myself because with my mom, you could never do enough with her,” she added.
4. MUNAKA: ‘THEY DID NOT DISCUSS HOW TO RAISE A CHILD
Lastly, Munaka came through with her own mother and daughter experiences, revealing how her mother struggled to raise her while being remarried after her parents divorced.
“I would rather stay divorced for the rest of my life than to bring another man to raise my kids. Because I feel like they did not discuss how to raise a child, and sometimes growing up, I felt like she chose him (stepfather) because she was trying to balance that dynamic of, I really want to have a husband, but I also want to be a mom.”