Will Budget speech 2023 teach me how to budget and be an adult?

Sorry for being stupid, but surely a Budget speech should include a section that gives me comprehensive tips on how to manage my finances? If you, like me, battle to apportion the right amount of money to the right things on a monthly basis, then we are in the same boat.

‘Rise: The Siya Kolisi Story’ premieres this Sunday!

Budget Speech 2023 from a layman’s perspective

How must I now afford eggs?

Remember when a six-pack of eggs cost R15? Yeah, neither can I. Well if you consume eggs at any stage in your life, that means that sacrifices will need to be made elsewhere. Since everything is going up, that compromise process is a tricky one to navigate.

What’s happening with mayonnaise?

Hellmann’s mayonnaise was discontinued in South Africa but don’t be surprised to see it popping up all over the place as people try to extort mayo addicts with ludicrously inflated prices. Oh and if you want to make your own mayonnaise at home, you’ll need eggs. That’s a bit of a Catch 22. What came first, the chicken or the… never mind actually.

SPOTTED in Cape Town: 3.57kg tubs of Hellmann’s mayonnaise

Taxis are up to R11 from Sea Point to Cape Town CBD

This figure was R7 during lockdown. If you take two or three taxis in a day, along with a bus, your daily commute can total R50. Probably more. Again, it’s understandable that taxi fares have gone up considering the price of petrol, but it’s tough. At least some of the most beautiful things in life are free. Like these views.

Sin taxes hitting you hard?

If you’re a drinker or a smoker, then Budget Speech 2023 has really ruined your day, your week, your month or even your year. Maybe this is a good time for a detox? Go for a run or something, I don’t know, I’m not your dad.

Taxes not covered in the budget speech

I was also horrified to learn that the budget speech didn’t teach me how to fill out my tax returns and I must continue to pay an expert to do that for me. It’s yet another hidden cost attached to being alive. At the very least I’d expect some kind of tutorial and value-added benefit from the budget speech. But no, it’s just a depressing speech about how expensive everything is becoming. Not really sure what this has to do with the topic but it’s a rant I am glad I had.

At least load shedding means we pay less for electricity per month

Oh wait, that’s not accurate at all. In fact, the total opposite is the truth. I am trying to find positives and just making myself feel worse. Anyway, R3 per nit of electricity and that number will climb soon.

ESKOM: The Kings of Inconvenience

It’s been another eventful but not very surprising budget speech from a South African perspective. What crucial things have I left out? How are you going to adjust your spending in 2023 in light of it all? HMU in the comments.

For more insights, analysis and love for the beautiful game, hit up James Freemantle.

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