What are the common patterns of verbal abuse in relationships?

Verbal abuse in relationships can’t be easily identified. It is hidden under a blanket of common fights, arguments and basic issues. Verbal abuse can be merely distinguished by the number of explosive words one throws at another.

Those who engage in verbal abuse are manipulative and clever enough to not let others understand their intentions clearly.

But one should be aware of such people because you don’t want to end up being a victim of verbal abuse. Hence here listed are some common patterns of verbal abuse in relationships.

1. Insulting names
A verbal abuser will hurl insulting names at you and make you feel incredibly bad for doing something. They will resort to name-calling and continue to do this for a long time until the victim feels completely helpless and vulnerable.

2. Constant criticism
Constant criticism is a major sign of verbal abuse. Learning to accept criticisms helps you to grow but when it crosses the basic limit i.e when you hear criticism at every level, it becomes very destructive for your confidence and self-esteem.

3. Disguised manipulation
A verbal abuser won’t manipulate their victims up front. Instead, they will look for ways to gaslight, criticise and emotionally blackmail them in order to get what they want. Verbal abusers know how to manipulate a person in order to tend to their own selfish needs.

4. Blame-game
Your partner may consistently blame you for things that you have nothing to apologise for. They will make you feel bad and guilty for not doing the right thing. They will even make a huge scene out of it by accusing you and posing as the victim.

5. The silent treatment
Verbal abusers don’t understand the concept of healthy communication in a relationship. They will give you the silent treatment and will refuse to talk to you and solve the issue in a mature, healthy way. They act like immature adults in such moments.

6. Toxic comments
They will make toxic and unhealthy comments about yourself, your family and friends. These comments can be very demeaning and insulting; they will make you feel extremely uncomfortable and humiliated.

Source: SABC

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