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Patrick Shai’s widow: I’m dealing with the pain!

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MASECHABA Shai has opened up about the loss of her husband Patrick.

And in order to help others going through the same ordeal, she has started a widow’s club.

On Thursday 27 October, she will be sharing her journey as a widow at Sello and Pearl Maake KaNcube’s first anniversary celebration at Sakhumzi Restaurant in Orlando West, Soweto.

“My life altered forever in January 2022. Patrick was my husband, the man I grew up with, my best friend and a father to my children,” she said.

“His children lost a father and his grandchildren are still not sure where he is.”

She said she was never ready for her husband’s death.

“Especially the way he departed this earth. I’m still dealing with the pain,” she said.

She said her heart still pounded with fear because society wanted to dictate how she must grieve.

“Sharing my husband with society made it worse. Claiming him was painful,” she said.

“I have learnt to be both a mother and a father to my children. This is by far the most difficult role I have had to assume.”

She said his amapiano collection used to irritate her but now she missed it.

“I miss his naughty smile when he was caught out with something and how he always competed to be the best cook in the house,” she said.

“He called me Ntwana whenever I was angry and that would make my heart melt.”

She said the initiative was her way of reaching out to women.

“The stigma and the belief that women kill their husbands is so sad and very demeaning to black women,” she said.

“We are expected to wear black clothes for a whole year. As a widow, you must be allowed to mourn your husband as you see fit.

“Being married makes us responsible women who don’t need to be dictated to on how to honour our husbands.”

She said she chose to honour her husband in the traditional way.

“But what about those women who don’t know or understand the traditional approach to the mourning process?” she asked. – Daily Sun

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