Common phrases have more effect on your child than you think

Communication is one of the most important aspects of parenting. The way you talk to your child plays an important role in determining your child’s feelings about itself and you.

Some sentences that might be run of the mill to adults but are extremely degrading for your child’s mental health and self-esteem. You might be joking lightly or making way for a playful conversation but the child can interpret it as they wish.

It has been found that certain phrases can make the child feel the same things that a bully might do, even when the parents’ intent is a playful conversation or light banter.

1. Nick names and name calling
Even though there are several names that parents can give to their child, some might be adorable while other names may not always be to the child’s taste. The lack of understanding that children exhibit at this age can also lead to internalization of certain names and define itself with reference to it. This can have a negative effect on the child’s self-esteem and can lead to a distorted self-image which can cause problems in the future.

2. The ‘no offence but..’ qualifier
Sentences starting with this phrase are clearly offensive because it actually means that what is going to follow is offensive and they should not say it but they are going to say it anyway. This tact is used often by bullies and people who wish to insult or humiliate obliquely. The phrase clearly shows premeditation and real life bullies can use this phrase to get rid of accountability for their hurtful words. This is not an example of brutal honesty but a willingness to hurt deliberately, a behavior you wouldn’t want your child to follow.

3. ‘You’re weird’
Love is basically acceptance and accepting a child for who it is should always reflect in your behavior and words. Telling your child that they are weird or annoying will instil a fear within them which will not let them be themselves. Such statements may be very definitive to some children and can affect their self-esteem. Being gentle with words and phrases is thus extremely important for the child and your relationship with it.

4. Comments or jokes on appearance
At school and in the playground, your child meets peers and children who openly comment on each other’s appearance. Bullies do that very often and extremely well. Such comments, however, can lead to internalization of these traits and a heightened awareness of their flaws. At home, try and create a safe space where the flaws aren’t pointed out but accepted. Joking or commenting on your child’s appearance can lead to the development of insecurities.

Source: Fakazanews

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